the ramblings of a 30 something year old female, do indulge.....

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

WTF?

I just had an out-of-body experience driving to work this morning. I live in a city I have nothing in common with, how did I get here? The only way I have survived here thus far is by frequently going on vacation to nearby cities.

Lagos, Nigeria according to a friend that dared to visit 'has no charm whatsoever,' sometimes I believe this statement and I guess today was one of those times. A city with so much potential and every day I see it being ploughed down like the old colonial houses that have to make room for the new high rises 'cause for some reason people keep migrating here. 

My frustration lies in the fact that Lagos, a huge metropolis which originated from Islands separated by creeks, is empty. It exists purely on hype. The boredom that overcomes me sometimes is scary, I mean work has become my social life. What happened to the excitement you feel when you've discovered something for the first time, these days I get that when a new lounge or restaurant opens up and I wouldn't call it excitement, more like an 'ah' feeling that lasts exactly 5 seconds. The sad thing is, according to gist, Lagos is considered the most exciting city in Nigeria, wtf? 

I love what Governor Fashola is doing, I mean it looks really pretty, but how about the Mallams on the street corners, our own kind of Bodega, or the women that sell roasted corn and Boli on the roadside, that was actually a remnant of the cool that once was, when one could walk down the street and be shaded by the trees and actually get there without being run over by either a bus or an Okada, the simpler times. Could it be that exposure has me craving more than what was satisfactory in the past or am I just old and going through the motions? 

One thing I realise is that I probably have to make something happen or else this is it, so this is my new mission, God help me! 

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

What Next?!



I feel I am at a point in my life where I am never satisfied. For some reason, I have it in my head that I am in some kind of huge tournament, with who you ask, well, whoever comes across my mind at any point in time. This can be tiring but this is how I've lived must of my life and like they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks (I can't believe I just quoted that). 

This way of life has it's good and bad, the good is always being one step ahead you basically analyze things till there's nothing left and then make your move based on the results. The bad is, you become very paranoid and probably will miss out on a lot of good things (like the time I was supposed to hook up with this really hot French boy). 

I am almost 30 and I feel like I have not quite gotten where I hoped I would be by this time, so cliche yet so true, like some kind of 'right of passage'. I am finally coming to terms with my path, I am trying to embrace it in all earnestness, God help me! I hope to start a new phase of my life soon and I am very open to whatever life has for me next, can't compete with life, unfortunately!