the ramblings of a 30 something year old female, do indulge.....

Friday, October 30, 2009

ok.?

My friend Bee is getting married and I am so excited but at the same time a little anxious. She made me a Chief brides-maid (CBM), and there's two of us but I feel I haven't quite lived up to expectations even though I'm not sure what exactly the expectations are these days. From all I've seen on the big screen the CBM is the bride's biatch for the day of the ceremony, she basically has to be prepared for anything, soooooo does that mean I twiddle my thumbs till the day of? (which is in 2 weeks btw)?

Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Arrrrrrrrgggggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh!


Feeling a huge bout of frustration! I feel like I am loosing control of my situation/life, de ja vu almost. I'm probably not making any sense right now but I just need to blow off some steam, so please bear with me.......... I tried to find a picture that would match my mood and this was the perfect one, lol. Disbelief mixed with shock... I wish everything could be still and just wait for me to collect my thoughts. I shall definitely be munching on some dumplings tonight so I can get everything back in perspective, they just make everything feel so much better!

Thursday, July 30, 2009

Schengen!


I finally stopped being lazy and compiled some pictures from my European summer, it was calm, quick and educational...






Tuesday, June 16, 2009

On dumplings again!

So I'm off to Europe soon. I'm a bit anxious about it, but in a good way. Change is always good and I shall be going through a lot of it in the next couple of months, scary but good. 

Just rediscovered one of the bands I liked back then, Domino band with lead singer Domino Kirke. They weren't signed and used to play regularly out of ANNEX in New York city. Lucky me, my roommate at the time was dating the drummer (the one holding the wine bottle) so I was allowed to be a groupie and for a cool band... good times! 


Wednesday, May 6, 2009

WTF?

I just had an out-of-body experience driving to work this morning. I live in a city I have nothing in common with, how did I get here? The only way I have survived here thus far is by frequently going on vacation to nearby cities.

Lagos, Nigeria according to a friend that dared to visit 'has no charm whatsoever,' sometimes I believe this statement and I guess today was one of those times. A city with so much potential and every day I see it being ploughed down like the old colonial houses that have to make room for the new high rises 'cause for some reason people keep migrating here. 

My frustration lies in the fact that Lagos, a huge metropolis which originated from Islands separated by creeks, is empty. It exists purely on hype. The boredom that overcomes me sometimes is scary, I mean work has become my social life. What happened to the excitement you feel when you've discovered something for the first time, these days I get that when a new lounge or restaurant opens up and I wouldn't call it excitement, more like an 'ah' feeling that lasts exactly 5 seconds. The sad thing is, according to gist, Lagos is considered the most exciting city in Nigeria, wtf? 

I love what Governor Fashola is doing, I mean it looks really pretty, but how about the Mallams on the street corners, our own kind of Bodega, or the women that sell roasted corn and Boli on the roadside, that was actually a remnant of the cool that once was, when one could walk down the street and be shaded by the trees and actually get there without being run over by either a bus or an Okada, the simpler times. Could it be that exposure has me craving more than what was satisfactory in the past or am I just old and going through the motions? 

One thing I realise is that I probably have to make something happen or else this is it, so this is my new mission, God help me! 

Tuesday, May 5, 2009

What Next?!



I feel I am at a point in my life where I am never satisfied. For some reason, I have it in my head that I am in some kind of huge tournament, with who you ask, well, whoever comes across my mind at any point in time. This can be tiring but this is how I've lived must of my life and like they say, you can't teach an old dog new tricks (I can't believe I just quoted that). 

This way of life has it's good and bad, the good is always being one step ahead you basically analyze things till there's nothing left and then make your move based on the results. The bad is, you become very paranoid and probably will miss out on a lot of good things (like the time I was supposed to hook up with this really hot French boy). 

I am almost 30 and I feel like I have not quite gotten where I hoped I would be by this time, so cliche yet so true, like some kind of 'right of passage'. I am finally coming to terms with my path, I am trying to embrace it in all earnestness, God help me! I hope to start a new phase of my life soon and I am very open to whatever life has for me next, can't compete with life, unfortunately!


Wednesday, January 14, 2009

O no! What did I not eat?!


So I did a blood test or should I say a bunch of blood tests (that left me with a nasty bruise) and I got my results today. I am clear on the HIV front but apparently, I have anaemia and not the 'you don't have enough iron type' this one I had never heard of till today. Normochromic Normocytic Anaemia, yup quite a mouthful! Not sure what that is, have done a little research online but still not quite clear... 

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Merry Christmas?


I love to travel at the end of the year. Lagos gets way too superficial in December so I use that time to explore my surroundings and gain humbling experiences. Unfortunately, due to the contract, I signed when I got employed, this time I was stuck at home. 

I tried to make the best of the situation but it just wasn't a very happy period for me, I didn't really feel the 'Christmas spirit' this year. I managed to shop, I think to wrap the gifts was the highlight of the whole thing for me, even attending service didn't do it (God knows my heart!). Could it have been the economic crunch?! or was I just so set on traveling that I couldn't appreciate being around loved ones? naaaaaaaaah, must have been the economic crunch.

I was such a grump that my man friend got me a present and I had him take it back, I felt it just wasn't me and he should have known this period. When I think about it now I am so ashamed. I totally forgot about all the effort that must have gone into getting the gift. No worries I have apologised and we are still together thank you very much! 

I remember Christmas 2004 where my sister and I had just moved back to Miami from Virginia and New York respectively. We had no furniture, no family around, couldn't afford to buy presents and yet we had the best time baking and reminiscing. I want to go back to those simple days! Where we made Christmas happen in the real sense of the season, sharing and showing love just like Jesus did!

What I learnt out of the whole experience is a lesson that seems to keep coming up, Don't wait for things to happen 'MAKE IT HAPPEN' this message I shall carry over into this new year.

WISHING ALL A HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!!